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The real reason *carnies are short on teeth
It’s not the meth. It’s the kettle corn.
You know that sweet, salty popcorny goodness that you can only get hot and fresh at the fair?
Heaven help us, I’ve found the recipe.
And sort of like meth (or so I’ve heard), it’s rather addictive. We been cookin’ it up nightly frequently in our own little popcorn lab kitchen.
Pst! Want the recipe? Here is is, but you didn’t get it from me.
Homemade Kettle Corn – Courtesy of Rachel Ray
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup popcorn kernels
1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon coarse salt
In a large pot with a tight-fitting lid, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Add the popcorn. When the oil sizzles, sprinkle the sugar over the kernels. Cover and shake the pan until the popping slows down, about 3 minutes. Remove from the heat and toss with the salt.
Oh, and please, please don’t tell my dentist. I don’t want to end up on Intervention.
*Not that I’m down on carnies, or anything. After all, I used to be one.
Why I like baseball
*****
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Imperfectly Wonderful
Like many women, I struggle a bit with perfectionism.
The idea that in order for me to spend my time doing something, I must do it right.
You know the feeling right?
I can’t vacuum right now because I don’t have time to do a really good job.
I can’t make pancakes because they are not as good as my husband’s.
I can’t plant those flowers by the front door because I really need to relandscape the entire yard.
And so, instead of doing something imperfectly, I do perfectly nothing.
A couple of weeks ago I promised my daughter a picnic. I got out my grandma’s blue blanket and a cute wicker basket. But when I reached for the bread, all I found were two heels and crumbs.
My first instinct was to cancel the picnic, but I had promised, so I started looking for Picnic Fare: Plan B.
Here is what I came up with:
Please note the leftover “happy birthday” plates. In addition, the tubs of pasta and salad would not fit in the cute wicker basket; it had to be replaced by a plastic grocery sack.
We I lugged the blanket and food all over trying to find the perfect spot.
We ended up in the dirt, by the creek.
It was lovely.
My girl spent her time throwing rocks in the water,
and putting on a show for her captive audience,
while I lay back on the blanket and took in the sights.
It was a perfect moment.
Until we realized that the patch of dirt we spread our blanket on was really a dog toilet.
Somewhere there’s a metaphor in this. Any suggestions?
I am official
I got my first rejection letter today; now I am officially a writer.
To celebrate this milestone, I’m off to Wal-Mart to buy a frame.
So this is what living the dream is like. Who knew?
The “Look Ma! No Cavities, Just a lot of Stress” Giveaway
Contest now closed. Congratulations to Cassandra, comment #65:
What stresses me out? Driving–too many aggressive drivers and drivers that don’t obey traffic laws–makes me nervous and stressed, and sometimes I end up resorting to the same road rage tactics that annoy and stress me out.
What do I do to relax? Breathe deeply and try to refocus. Music and aromatherapy help out a lot. Sometimes I need to give myself an adult time out.
The details are on the way; check your email. After you get out of time out.
**********
If you are just here for the Bloggy Giveaway Carnival, I must apologize. I am about to tell you a long story that you really don’t care about. Feel free to skip ahead.
But for my faithful, regular readers (Hi, Mom!) I thought I’d ramble on unceasingly give you some background on why I chose this particular item to giveaway.
So, ahem…
Two months ago I went to the dentist for a cleaning and an exam.
Maybe he’s just nice.
Maybe he says it to all the girls.
But…
He glowingly praised my beautiful gums and went into raptures over my advanced flossing skills!
Okay, maybe not quite raptures, but he did say I was doing a very good job.
Which is why I was more than a little startled when I developed a tooth-ache, or rather a sharp pain, in one of my molars.
Did I mention, I floss?
I do have a filling in that tooth (and several others), due to a childhood diet of pilfered jello straight from the box. I wondered if that old filling had come loose since my exam.
Last week I returned to the dentist to have the tooth looked at.
It turns out that I have probably given myself a hairline fracture from clenching my teeth. It’s small enough that it does not even show up on an x-ray, but if I don’t take care I will eventually need to get a crown.
And flossing won’t do a thing to stop it.
I clench my teeth in my sleep when I am stressed. And once I start, it’s hard to stop.
Apparently, I am not alone in this habit. My dentist mentioned that he is seeing a sharp increase in these kind of tooth fractures. Blame it on the economy, gas prices, terrorism, or the fact that Jim didn’t propose to Pam, we are a stressed-out bunch.
There was little he could do for me than give me some Sensodine and advise me to try to reduce my stress level.
In the car on the way home, I turned on a movie for my girl so I could make a couple of phone calls. When I picked up my cell phone, I realized that it was broken.
Talk about stress! I was a full ten minutes from home.
I might have said “Crap!” or something like that.
I might have tried frantically to fix it before throwing it across the car.
And then I might have pulled over so I could pick it up and try to fix it again.
But it still did not work.
To take my mind off the phone, I grabbed a random CD and put it in. In moments my car was filled with soothing music and a soft voice counseling me to get comfortable and take some deep breaths.
It was a copy of a meditation that a friend had given me about a year ago. I had never made time to listen to it and it ended up in the car.
Let me just say – meditating in the car? Not so relaxing, but it did get my mind off my broken phone.
When I got home I looked up the website that the meditation had come from.
Stin Hansen created My Thought Coach. And, um? Wow. (How’s that for articulate?)
After listening to some samples, I subscribed.
For $6.95 a month, here’s what I get (quoted from MyThoughtCoach.com):
Membership includes unlimited streaming and downloads of every MP3 on the entire site.
You can:
· log in and listen as often as you want from any online computer,
· download and place files onto your MP3 player
· burn your own individualized CD
New content will be added regularly to each section of the library. You will receive an email notification each time a new MP3 is added.
· Easy and secure payment via PayPal.
· Cancel subscription any time.
· No hidden fees or obligations.
· We will never sell or distribute your e-mail address to anyone.Member or not, send or listen to the growing list of free e-mp3s at any time.
The site has guided affirmations for everything from becoming motivated to work out to letting go of anger or ending emotional eating.
There are also MP3s to listen to while you exercise. I can’t wait to try those out.
My daughter has been enjoying the relaxation exercises for children; in one she gets to visualize soaring on the back of an eagle. She is listening to them at bedtime every night.
Go check it out, there are lots of samples to listen to.
And I am trying to set aside time to meditate and release stress each day. Next to flossing, it’s the best thing I can do for my smile.
My long winded story is over; you can stop scrolling now.
I’ll be giving one of you lucky readers an entire year of stress relief, healthier living, and just all around happiness an $83.40 value. 
The winner of this giveaway will receive a year’s subscription to My Thought Coach, generously sponsored by Stin herself.
Go there and look around. Find your inner peace. Then come back here and enter to win!
Contest is open to anyone with a valid email address.
To enter, please leave me a comment about one or more of the following:
- What stresses you out
- Things you do to relax
- Your favorite brand of floss
Please do not say, “Count me in.” That’s just boring.
I will randomly choose a winner on Saturday, August 2nd sometime in the afternoon.
Good luck!
PS: Will I need a crown? Will I continue to floss? What other adventures will I have?
Subscribe to my feed to find out.
or….
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Four out of five dentists agree, Frantically Simple is good for your smile.
The fifth one? He’s just mean.
Guest Blogger: Shasta
I’m filling in for Heidi today. She’s tired.
She had company this week and-
SQUIRRRRREL!
BE RIGHT BACK!
Woof-woof-woof-woof-woof!
Sorry [pant-pant] about that [pant-pant].
My job is to defend this yard from those pesky creatures.
I just can’t stand ‘em, running up and down the fence line – grrrrr!
Taunting me with their fat stupid little fat furry fatness. Woof!
What was I saying? Oh yeah, Heidi had company and so my family took their guest all over this state: the beach, the mountains, the city – while I stayed home in my crate waiting for the neighbor girl to walk me.
The squirrels were having a hay-day, I tell you! Grrr…
So anyway Heidi wanted me to tell you to be sure and come back Monday. She’ll be doing a great giveaway.
I hope it’s a pair of little doggie Nikes. ‘Cuz I’d win ‘em and jump like Jordan. Then I’d knock those stupid little fuzzballs right off the fence!
I hate ‘em!
Woof!
Now, could somebody please call Heidi and wake her up from her nap?
Tell her that I really want to come in and lie by the air conditioner.
Protecting is hard work. [sigh]
But all it takes for squirrels to win is for good dogs to stand by and do nothing.
Humans, educate yourselves.
Woof.
Shasta
Use under adult supervision only
I am all for letting children learn and explore.
I think that they are often more capable than they are given credit for.
And given the opportunity to express themselves they will often surprise in away that just may take your breath away.
Which is exactly how I reacted, with surprise and an inability to breathe, when I saw the following photo on my camera:
Read more
Simple Treasures
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mama’s way of comforting
My girl? She loves her comfort.
I remember a complicated toddler phase that included tightly wrapping her legs in a fleece blanket before bed so she could be “nice and cozy”. If the blanket came loose in the middle of the night I’d be awakened by her shrieking “I’m not nice and cozy! I’m not nice and cozy!”
This summer GW decided that shorts were really not that “comfy” when compared to skirts.
And skirts were not as “comfy” as dresses.
And the dresses she wanted (not too girly, loose fitting, easy to move it, yada, yada, yada…) did not exist.
What’s a mama to do?
In my case, I fought with my tearful daughter to get dressed every morning for a couple of weeks. And then, when I’d had enough, I whipped out my sewing machine and got to work.
When I finished I had a very happy daughter and *seven shiny new
Ultimate Comfortable Won’t Wear Anything Else Dresses of Summer.
Here are a few:
She’s happy. I’m happy. And that works for me.
*The actual tally should read eleven. GW’s friend received a gift of four brand spanking new dresses. Heaven help me, I just couldn’t stop myself.
Tutorial here.
T-Shirt Dress Tutorial (otherwise known as the *UCWWAEDS)
*The Ultimate Comfortable Won’t Wear Anything Else Dress of Summer
Materials needed:
One inexpensive t-shirt
1/2 to 3/4 yard of coordinating fabric (54″ width) The length of fabric determines the length of dress, buy according to how long you’d like finished dress to be.
Matching thread
Optional: rickrack, ribbon, or trim
Tools:
Scissors and/or rotary cutter and mat
Pins
Sewing machine
Optional: serger
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Once upon a time there was a Heidi…
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