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I thought it looked more like a deformed reindeer
It happened in the car on a Sunday evening, nearly a year ago. Our family was driving home from the Washington DC LDS Temple visitor’s center. They have a fantastic Christmas Festival of Lights. All was quiet, peaceful.
And then, out of the blue, our daughter asked a question, the question, really.
I was totally unprepared for:
Mom, how do babies get inside their mommy’s tummy?
!?!
Where did that come from?! Was it the live nativity? And how the heck am I supposed to answer a seven year old?
I tried to compose my thoughts while flashes of my own awkward introduction to this subject ran through my head:
My brother innocently looks up from his dinner and asks, “What’s sperm?”
SILENCE.
My mom, flustered and embarrassed, herds the two of us children away from the table, leaving our dad to eat alone. We cluster into my bedroom, shut the door, and listen as Mom chokes out a confusing explanation about a man planting a seed. Who was this man? A farmer? And why did my mom want to keep him a secret from my dad?…
Here is essentially what I said: “Heavenly Father has prepared a special way for a man and a woman to make a baby. He wants them to use it after they are married. The man puts a seed in a woman’s body and it grows into a baby.”
Dang, I brought up the seed; it’s that crazy farmer all over again! What was I thinking?
Mr. Frantic was shaking with silent laughter as I tried to be casual. No discomfort here. Nope. Not at all.
I asked my daughter if that answered her question and she said…
“no”.
crap!
As I tried to think of what else to say (the mom and dad fit together like a puzzle?) she changed the subject. When I asked her asked her if she still wanted to talk about babies she said no.
Great. Me neither.
We rode the rest of the way home in silence.
A few days later, after the initial panic had subsided, I brought up the subject again. I calmly, yet simply detailed the mechanics while also explaining our family’s moral stand on S-E-X.
She asked a couple of questions and I answered them without fear or embarrassment.
Yay me!
I even had the presence of mind to explain that this topic was very special and other kids needed to learn about it from their parents, not from her, so she should not try to educate the her friends. Please.
Fast forward several months. I learned the disturbing news that many girls now may begin puberty as early as age 8!
And, I won’t get into specifics here, but I suspect that my girl may be an early bloomer in that department.
I’ve been meaning to talk to her about what changes are in store for her.
Once again flashback to horribly embarrassing health class films about Your Changing Body.
Gag!
Yes it was awful, but it saved me my mom the horror of a discussion at home.
But I homeschool now. There is no one else to do this one for me. I needed to talk to her myself, and preferably in a way that would not cause us to begin avoiding eye contact.
This afternoon she asked me why girls don’t get big adam’s apples.
It was time.
Readers, you would have been so proud of me! I continued making dinner as I explained that girls’ and boys’ bodies go through some different changes on their way to becoming men and women. I did not choke on the words “breasts” or “menstruate”. I pretended like they were perfectly normal pre-dinner discussion topics.
And when words did not suffice I pulled out our trusty little white board and drew a picture of the female reproductive system.
Oh, yes I did.
We discussed what happens to an egg on its journey to becoming a baby or, um, not a baby.
I positively waxed eloquent.
When I was finished speaking I asked the golden question.
“Is there anything else you want to know?”
“Yeah. Why does your drawing look like a dog with earrings?”
Where is a health teacher when you need one?
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Works for Me Wednesday hosted by Rocks in my Dryer
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14 Responses to “I thought it looked more like a deformed reindeer”
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I’m laughing, but feeling your pain at the same time. I have an 8 yo boy and I know the topic is going to come up, I’m just hoping I have more time. Maybe I don’t. I think you did good, though.
My mom sat me down and read me Dr. Dobson’s book. The one about IT. Can’t remember the name of it, but I do remember this line about going through puberty: “Normalacy will return.”. It was really lovely having my mother read this book aloud, let me tell you. Ughh.
Blue Castles last blog post..Family Tree Art part 2
My oldest son is 9; he asked me that same question last month. I told him God put the baby there. He was happy with it. I don’t think he really wanted to know the whole shabang just yet, but when he does I will have this post saved, lol! Blessings, Whitney
Whitney @ Baby Tunnel Exoduss last blog post..Works For Me Wednesday III
Wow, I am absolutely impressed! I broke out into a cold sweat the other week when my 5 year old asked how babies get OUT of the tummy. I didn’t even have to touch the whole “how babies get in the tummy” extravaganza. That’s what daddy is for.
Busymama Kellies last blog post..What is your earliest memory?
I read somewhere a couple weeks ago a dad who told his three-year-old that the daddy puts the mommy in the baby’s tummy, but it’s a secret only married people know about. Sounds good to me!
Chelseys last blog post..WFMW: Put numbers in your cell phone in case of emergencies
I am going through this myself with my 9 year old daughter. Conversations have been started and abruptly stopped. She has had “the class” at school (about menstruation only). I bought her a book that discusses the changes her body is going through…I’ve caught her reading it a few times. This wasn’t easy for my mom and it’s not going to be easy for me.
You should be proud of your “dog with earrings” drawing. LOL That’s classic.
Lori Drumms last blog post..Works For Me: Crock Pot Cooking
Oh my goodness! The other day my 5 year old asked how the babies get OUT of mommy’s tummy. I’m still thinking how to explain it. I’m guessing it’s going to be best to use actual terms. And now that she’s going to have to go to the urologist for bladder infections, pretty sure we’re going to have to talk about the V word. WHY??? WHY did I have girls??? Thanks for your post — I feel a little better.
Sarah at themommyloguess last blog post..Works for Me Wednesday — Toy Chaos
hee-Hee. I never thought of the reproductive system looking like a doggie with earings. Hmmmm. you know that they make pillows in that shape.
This post brought tears to my eyes. As one who didn’t get the right information from the right people, I am touched by your willingness to put YOUR discomfort aside and be the Mom and guide your daughter!!
Well done.
Llama Mommas last blog post..packing lunches
Awesome – I can only hope to keep it together as well as you when my time comes for “The Talk”!!
Wow, I am incredibly impressed with your ability to handle such a touchy topic. Is it bad that I am glad to be having a boy so that David can field that subject the first time. Although with my luck Tucker will come to me first. You can expect a phone call that day because you handle it like a pro!
And I think it’s great that you made a point to let her know that it’s not necessary for her to teach her friends. I think more parents need to stress that point.
Jenn Mizes last blog post..Tucker Update
Very nice job on this. I think you covered all the bases, ha ha! I laughed with you and sympathized. I have three boys so our talks are a little different…..but they can be painful nonetheless.
Visiting for the first time via WFMW.
My HS health teacher’s son went off to Kindergarten and drew a picture of the female reproductive system that the teacher thought was a reindeer. He corrected her and pointed out all the different organs in the system!
Elizabeths last blog post..Crewelwork Decor
LOL…this was great! Good for you
I am not looking forward to THE talk at all. My five year old son recently asked me what mommies have in relation to what daddies have. I just about choked and Daddy wasn’t home to pass the baton too…lol. I’m afraid that I didn’t do quite as well as you…lol! But I must have answered the question sufficiently as it didn’t come up again later. 
You are my hero..hopefully I can do just as well when the time comes to educate my daughter. Sigh. Thank GOD she is only one year old!
By the way, came via WFMW…loved your post!
Mrs. Qs last blog post..Hey You Wanna Loan Me $700 Billion?
Thanks for stopping by. I’m so glad I read this. It definitely helps me formulate my plan on what to say to my 7 YO!
Jen Ws last blog post..The birds and the bees…Megan style